The Struggle is Real!
I asked God to change me. Change my attitude from negative to positive. Change my negative mindset to a positive mindset. For about two weeks now, I have been working very hard towards that goal. But this week, I was challenged. I was repeatedly tempted to revert back to my old self. I felt the need to defend myself and prove people wrong. I felt like running away and hiding and the urge to dwell on the negative. I needed to scream and vent out and at first, I didn’t. I felt that if I kept it bottled up, that I wasn’t facing the issue. Instead I was just suppressing it and pushing it further down into my subconscious. So I found an outlet, a very expensive one (that’s another blog) and that helped. The challenges continued throughout the week, but I didn’t give in. The good thing is that I recognized those urges in myself and kept them at bay. This was the first hurdle.
The second step was forgiving and getting around the ignorant people that were in my space. I needed to not let them invade my space and happy place. As you can probably imagine, this was the hardest part. It’s normal I think, to not want to forgive someone who you feel has wronged you and damaged your character. You may see this person as part of the reason why you are in the situation you are in, but you want to work it out because you know that it’s the right thing to try and do. I choose to forgive for myself and no one else. Not forgiving will only do me harm and keep me stuck in a negative place.
So I forgave and moved on to the final piece in this lesson.
Letting Go of the B.S.
I had to let go. I didn’t want this person to have power over my mind or feelings so I got rid of all the anguish. Keeping a positive mindset is the only way I am going to survive this journey of change. This concept is quite apparent. Holding on to things will only weigh me down and keep me from moving forward.
So you see I am a work in progress but I will continue to grow. Keep blooming! 🌸